November 1

100WC

“Ahhhh work you silly computer, I spent a $100 on you so you could work but you still don’t work” I yelled banging my head in the computer, “I just want to see what is being celebrated today, Google always has a cool game when it is a special occasion”

“Hurry up! you will be late for swimming! you can’t go tomorrow “Mum yelled

Flame was coming out of my eyes, I was so, mad my computer wasn’t working “I am coming” I yelled, my computer screen suddenly turned white “Nooooooooooooooo!” I screamed “Why?” I sobbed

“Are you coming?” Mum yelled impatiently

 

 

 


Posted November 1, 2017 by harguan2016 in category 100WC, homework

2 thoughts on “100WC

  1. Mrs McG (Team 100WC)

    Hi Harguan,
    Thank you for your 100wc this week. I know exactly how frustrated your character feels with their computer not working. It’s so annoying isn’t it? I like how you have used dialogue and inverted commas in your story to show how your character is feeling. Try to make sure you use full stops rather than commas at the end of your sentences. It will make them more accurate. Keep up the good work.
    Mrs McG (Team 100WC)
    Derbyshire, England

    Reply
  2. Jusden (Team 100)

    Hi Harguan,

    A really nice but frustrating story, in the sense that I can feel the character’s frustration! I can relate to this issue of computers not working, as it has happened to me before. I’ve been in a situation where I broke my dad’s business computer which did not go down well either! The way you describe the dialogue between you and your mum is really believable, and the trouble of having your mum pushing you to rush only heightens the tension. Great use of punctuation and grammar also, espicially your use of exclamation and quotation marks. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

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